TTC Baby #4
Hi Guys! Long time no blog!!! I have been so focused on making my youtube videos that I have neglected my blog. SO...I am back and I am ready to catch up on what has been going on in my life!!!
As we are winding down 2016, I have had a lot of time to think about this past year. Juan and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary. Peyton is almost 6, Austin turned 4 in August, and Reagan turned 1! Juan and I are now 26, and we have started a new chapter with Juan changing jobs in September, Peyton starting Kindergarten, Austin starting Preschool, and I (Alex) have started working part time making all things little girl....(aka. Bows, Tutus, Shirts, Necklaces...) you name it, I probably make it!!!
Its crazy to me that I can say that I have been a mom for 6 years!!! I can officially say that I have been a mom longer then I have done anything else consistently!!! SIX YEARS!!! Time has seriously flown by so fast!! There are days that seem to drag by slow, yet overall it has somehow flown by!
The older I get (not that I think I am "old") the more I am learning to appreciate all the different phases of my life and my kids life!
Now that I have 2 kids in school and my youngest is almost 1 1/2 I have had time to really start thinking about baby #4. Because of my c-sections (my first was an emergency and my doctor doesn't do V-Bacs) I have been told that I am only safely allowed to have one more child. For my safety and my babies safety my doctor only likes a women to have no more then 4 c-sections. I know that every doctor is different yet I have discussed this with my husband as well as my doctor and my nurse practitioner and I believe that they all have my best interest at heart!
That being said, I have finally become ready (in my mind and heart) to start trying for baby #4!
When i was younger (16,17,18) I always said that I wanted a large family. Mostly because I only have 1 younger sister and I always wanted more siblings. Yet when I became a mom I thought 2 was enough. Then I was ready for 3. And now i am ready for 4.
I never have actually planned for a baby! Its always just kind of been a surprise. A good surprise, yet all 100% unexpected.
This fall as my nursing journey was coming to an end it was time to really think about what our plan was going to be.
When I was younger I was all for birth control. I used it until I became pregnant with my oldest daughter. I had been on the pill for 2 years and had missed my doctors appointment to get my new prescription. In those few weeks that I was off BC i became pregnant. After my daughter was born I got back on the pill and when she was 9 months old I was hospitalized and was given a prescription for a medication that I NOW know counteracted my pills. Looking back I guess I should have known better yet in the moment it wasn't on my mind when I was taking the medicine. I found out right after Christmas that I was pregnant with my son. I had Austin when Peyton was 18 months old. That first year was very rough. I was in the middle of cosmetology school and trying to raise two kids, one of which nursed every 2 hours up until he was 10 months old, and the other who has the energy of the energize bunny!!! I for sure was done with having kids. I was tired and not emotionally ready for anymore.
Two and a half years after Austin was born I found out that I was pregnant with our youngest. After my son was born and again started on BC. For almost 2 years I never missed a day. Right before my son turned 2 I started having problems with my cycles.
When you are on the pill you take 21 pills everyday and the you take 7 "sugar" pills. Basically the day you get off the pill your cycle should start. Therefor 21 days on 7 days off. Month after month. You should not have spotting or cycles in between those days.
Back to what I was saying...Right before Austin turned 2, I was on the pill and would be taking it and my cycle would start around day 14. Sometimes 10. And sometimes I would go 45 days, meaning I would take the 21 and then never start on my 7 day pills. I went and had a visit with my doctor and we decided to stop on the pill to give my body a break. She talked with my about other options and I said I needed some time to talk it over with my spouse.
That was in July 2014.
From July to November i only had 2 cycles. They were 45-50 days apart. November 2nd I started my cycle. It was my normal 5 day long period. Then again on the 15th I had another one. Basically I have a period, was off it for 8 days and then started again.
I thought nothing of it because this kind of thing had been happening for the past almost 7 months.
My sister was having a big party to celebrate a monumental day in her life. It was a adult only kind of party. I knew we were all going to be drinking and something inside of me thought that I needed to take a pregnancy test. I honestly thought it was going to instantly be negative but to my surprise it said pregnant in big digital letters.
3 days after my son turned 3, I gave birth to our daughter Reagan!
During my pregnancy and even after I had her I was dead set on her being my last. I even talked to my doctor about tying my tubes during y c-section. In the end I wasn't ready and thought i was too hormonal and emotion to make that kind of decision about out future when I was in the middle of being pregnant.
Fast foward to now. Our youngest is almost 1 1/2. I nursed her for 14 months and never had a cycle in that time. Once we stopped nursing and my period returned i decided (or should i say me and my husband decided) that we are ready to start trying for baby #4!
I have never had to TTC before, because as i had said my children have always been a surprise. So in October after i ended my cycle i ordered a pack of OPK's (ovulation tests)
Once my cycle began in November i started tracking EVERYTHING like a mad women. I mean every detail, every emotion, every symptom, of BD (baby dance), in short EVERYTHING!!!
I tracked my day of ovulation and made sure to BD the days before the day of and the day after. I was so stressed and emotional.
My period was 3 days late...I took so many tests and they all cam back negative.
I was crushed.
It sounds so silly and so immature to think that I was hurt. There are so many women who try and try for moths, years, and can never have a baby, not one. And here I am with 3 healthy children and I am upset about hoe I didn't get pregnant my first try.
So here we are. I am 2 days into my 2nd cycle of TTC. I am taking a different approach this month. I am going to try and be more calm about the whole process. To keep track of it all yet at the same time not obsess over it all day everyday.
There is a plan. God knows it, not me. And i must let it go. If we are meant to have another blessing in out life it will happen.
Yet that is easier said then done.
Now it begins. My TTC journey. It may be different then others yet it it still mine. And my hope is to help someone else. Whether its another mom of multiples or a first time mom to soon be. I just want to share my story because we are all different. We all have our own path and sometimes it is easier to know that you aren't alone.
I wasn't ready for a long time to add onto our family. Yet the day came that I woke up and was ready. I woke up and knew that I needed one more person in our family to make us complete. It doesn't matter if your are TTC for Baby #1 of Baby #9. You are still opening up your heart and mind and soul to growing your family and that is what is important.
I get these shocked opinions on wanting 4 children. We live in this world now where we have reverted back to "oh i want 2 kids a boy and a girl" But the way I look at it is...the more amazing children I have, the more grandkids i will receive and one day I will get to sit in my home filled with laughter and joy and know it all is there because God blessed me with it. We are all different and we all want different things in life. I know that is so cliche to say, yet I feel like i was meant to be a mom, its my job and my heart and I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world!!!
Baby dust wishes to all my TTC-ers!!!
XOXO-Alex
As we are winding down 2016, I have had a lot of time to think about this past year. Juan and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary. Peyton is almost 6, Austin turned 4 in August, and Reagan turned 1! Juan and I are now 26, and we have started a new chapter with Juan changing jobs in September, Peyton starting Kindergarten, Austin starting Preschool, and I (Alex) have started working part time making all things little girl....(aka. Bows, Tutus, Shirts, Necklaces...) you name it, I probably make it!!!
Its crazy to me that I can say that I have been a mom for 6 years!!! I can officially say that I have been a mom longer then I have done anything else consistently!!! SIX YEARS!!! Time has seriously flown by so fast!! There are days that seem to drag by slow, yet overall it has somehow flown by!
The older I get (not that I think I am "old") the more I am learning to appreciate all the different phases of my life and my kids life!
Now that I have 2 kids in school and my youngest is almost 1 1/2 I have had time to really start thinking about baby #4. Because of my c-sections (my first was an emergency and my doctor doesn't do V-Bacs) I have been told that I am only safely allowed to have one more child. For my safety and my babies safety my doctor only likes a women to have no more then 4 c-sections. I know that every doctor is different yet I have discussed this with my husband as well as my doctor and my nurse practitioner and I believe that they all have my best interest at heart!
That being said, I have finally become ready (in my mind and heart) to start trying for baby #4!
When i was younger (16,17,18) I always said that I wanted a large family. Mostly because I only have 1 younger sister and I always wanted more siblings. Yet when I became a mom I thought 2 was enough. Then I was ready for 3. And now i am ready for 4.
I never have actually planned for a baby! Its always just kind of been a surprise. A good surprise, yet all 100% unexpected.
This fall as my nursing journey was coming to an end it was time to really think about what our plan was going to be.
When I was younger I was all for birth control. I used it until I became pregnant with my oldest daughter. I had been on the pill for 2 years and had missed my doctors appointment to get my new prescription. In those few weeks that I was off BC i became pregnant. After my daughter was born I got back on the pill and when she was 9 months old I was hospitalized and was given a prescription for a medication that I NOW know counteracted my pills. Looking back I guess I should have known better yet in the moment it wasn't on my mind when I was taking the medicine. I found out right after Christmas that I was pregnant with my son. I had Austin when Peyton was 18 months old. That first year was very rough. I was in the middle of cosmetology school and trying to raise two kids, one of which nursed every 2 hours up until he was 10 months old, and the other who has the energy of the energize bunny!!! I for sure was done with having kids. I was tired and not emotionally ready for anymore.
Two and a half years after Austin was born I found out that I was pregnant with our youngest. After my son was born and again started on BC. For almost 2 years I never missed a day. Right before my son turned 2 I started having problems with my cycles.
When you are on the pill you take 21 pills everyday and the you take 7 "sugar" pills. Basically the day you get off the pill your cycle should start. Therefor 21 days on 7 days off. Month after month. You should not have spotting or cycles in between those days.
Back to what I was saying...Right before Austin turned 2, I was on the pill and would be taking it and my cycle would start around day 14. Sometimes 10. And sometimes I would go 45 days, meaning I would take the 21 and then never start on my 7 day pills. I went and had a visit with my doctor and we decided to stop on the pill to give my body a break. She talked with my about other options and I said I needed some time to talk it over with my spouse.
That was in July 2014.
From July to November i only had 2 cycles. They were 45-50 days apart. November 2nd I started my cycle. It was my normal 5 day long period. Then again on the 15th I had another one. Basically I have a period, was off it for 8 days and then started again.
I thought nothing of it because this kind of thing had been happening for the past almost 7 months.
My sister was having a big party to celebrate a monumental day in her life. It was a adult only kind of party. I knew we were all going to be drinking and something inside of me thought that I needed to take a pregnancy test. I honestly thought it was going to instantly be negative but to my surprise it said pregnant in big digital letters.
3 days after my son turned 3, I gave birth to our daughter Reagan!
During my pregnancy and even after I had her I was dead set on her being my last. I even talked to my doctor about tying my tubes during y c-section. In the end I wasn't ready and thought i was too hormonal and emotion to make that kind of decision about out future when I was in the middle of being pregnant.
Fast foward to now. Our youngest is almost 1 1/2. I nursed her for 14 months and never had a cycle in that time. Once we stopped nursing and my period returned i decided (or should i say me and my husband decided) that we are ready to start trying for baby #4!
I have never had to TTC before, because as i had said my children have always been a surprise. So in October after i ended my cycle i ordered a pack of OPK's (ovulation tests)
Once my cycle began in November i started tracking EVERYTHING like a mad women. I mean every detail, every emotion, every symptom, of BD (baby dance), in short EVERYTHING!!!
I tracked my day of ovulation and made sure to BD the days before the day of and the day after. I was so stressed and emotional.
My period was 3 days late...I took so many tests and they all cam back negative.
I was crushed.
It sounds so silly and so immature to think that I was hurt. There are so many women who try and try for moths, years, and can never have a baby, not one. And here I am with 3 healthy children and I am upset about hoe I didn't get pregnant my first try.
So here we are. I am 2 days into my 2nd cycle of TTC. I am taking a different approach this month. I am going to try and be more calm about the whole process. To keep track of it all yet at the same time not obsess over it all day everyday.
There is a plan. God knows it, not me. And i must let it go. If we are meant to have another blessing in out life it will happen.
Yet that is easier said then done.
Now it begins. My TTC journey. It may be different then others yet it it still mine. And my hope is to help someone else. Whether its another mom of multiples or a first time mom to soon be. I just want to share my story because we are all different. We all have our own path and sometimes it is easier to know that you aren't alone.
I wasn't ready for a long time to add onto our family. Yet the day came that I woke up and was ready. I woke up and knew that I needed one more person in our family to make us complete. It doesn't matter if your are TTC for Baby #1 of Baby #9. You are still opening up your heart and mind and soul to growing your family and that is what is important.
I get these shocked opinions on wanting 4 children. We live in this world now where we have reverted back to "oh i want 2 kids a boy and a girl" But the way I look at it is...the more amazing children I have, the more grandkids i will receive and one day I will get to sit in my home filled with laughter and joy and know it all is there because God blessed me with it. We are all different and we all want different things in life. I know that is so cliche to say, yet I feel like i was meant to be a mom, its my job and my heart and I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world!!!
Baby dust wishes to all my TTC-ers!!!
XOXO-Alex
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